he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
