Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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