I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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