Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
this hospital has no fireball
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
