either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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