): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
