Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
