I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
