there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
