why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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