The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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