I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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