found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
