They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
