All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I hate all girls vehemently.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
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