So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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