I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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