honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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