Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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