no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
So much rum. So many feels.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
