Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
