Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
