Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Randomize