I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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