eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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