It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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