is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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