Screwed.edu
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize
