When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
