Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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