Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
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