there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
this just has baby written all over it
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
