i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
