Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
