and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
