i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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