How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
