You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
