You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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