Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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