We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
