I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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