the day after is always just damage control
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
