Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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