we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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