Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
