Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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