dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
