More tranny stories later!
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Randomize
