we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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