Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
My pussy is not your playground.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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