wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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