Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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