Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
