Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
