It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
