called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Randomize
