Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
