he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
