just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize