i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
