there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
