just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
