I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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